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Lately I’ve been thinking of death. Death of the old self as a necessary process of rebirth, death of the true self which often happens to people in early childhood, the suppression of feelings that makes one feel dead and appear dead to others, death in the destruction of nature in the world, death in depression that flattens you makes you feel hopeless. This incredibly ugly painting has a lot of death in it. It’s dark colors and moodiness mimic the way I have been feeling of late. A lot of my dreams feature death of people and animals which are mostly symbolic of suppression of feelings and instincts that happened in the past. But, recent dreams also feature new life, like eggs. In this painting on the right is a swarm of bees (instinctual creatures) each bringing a black egg. I have had a couple dreams that have a swarm of bees in it. In one dream a bee stung me and left a goo of small eggs in my hand. On the bottom of the painting is a cemetery with many coffins and a large skull. Coming from the top left is an elaborate and grotesque Lingham or phallus with eggs all over it. In the bottom left is a vortex perhaps sucking energy from the scene.

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